I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
