He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
