Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
The power of my boobs compel you
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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