Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
