Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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