hell yes lets make some ravioli
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
