WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize