I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
ra ra ra ah ah
sexting lady gaga style
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship