did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
