The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
