I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
