I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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