So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
