Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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