its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Randomize
