And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
We have started to decorate penises.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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