Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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