did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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