Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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