My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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