hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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