Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I lost the right to judge tonight
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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