but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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