somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
