You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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