I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
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im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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