sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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