hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
