this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
he just fucked me for my cheese..
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
