Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
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