sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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