Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
