M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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