We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I just blew my weed a kiss
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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