apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
How does it feel to date your dad?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize