I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Alive.
So much puke
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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