I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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