I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
