My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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