His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
My penis needs a shock collar
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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