Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
