I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Randomize
