Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
