Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
