is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
