You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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