Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
