the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
