You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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