I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize