pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
