Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
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