We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
