I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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