big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
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