At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
