No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
