The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
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