I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
