So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.