I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
