Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
